Ghost
by adreamiscollapsing
Summary: Ages ago, Asha Kalar's world turned upside down when she went from padawan to First Order fugitive. Barely escaping with her life, she has now found solace with Poe Dameron, the top pilot in the Resistance. Working side by side with General Leia Organa and Poe she must come to terms with what has become of Ben Solo. Problem is, how do you fight a ghost? SPOILERS. Kylo Ren/OC/Poe.
1. Prologue

-Ghost-

Prologue

* * *

"Ben! Let me out!" I slammed my shoulder as hard as I could against the cold door in the sterile room. "Ben!" My throat was on fire from yelling until my vocal chords were raw. I knew he was livid at me for what I had done but I had run out of options. Kylo Ren was going to kill us so I made my choice. I had to live with it and I was more than willing to accept the pain and blame that accompanied it.

I hadn't been expecting an act of kindness from the chrome stormtrooper. If he knew what she had done he would no doubt condemn her also, so I pretended I had acted alone. It was a small price to pay in return to her. I wasn't delusional however, I knew that would be the only act of kindness afforded to me as a key member of the resistance. I suspected she had done it more for Kylo Ren's sake than my well-being.

I briefly chuckled to myself in bitter annoyance at the fact that I somehow still subconsciously made the distinction between Ben Solo, my best friend of ages past, and Kylo Ren, a mass murderer hell-bent on using the forces of the dark side to finish what his grandfather Darth Vader had started. I knew what he had done and yet still in the most vulnerable moments- mine and his, he was Ben.

It was easier to defer to the name Kylo Ren when the darkness that raged inside him consuming the light was nearly palpable through the despicable acts that he committed. That distinction was a double edged sword. As it wore him down I could feel it doing the same to me. "Ben" would surely be the death of me.

Being here, seeing Ben, made it easy to forget and even easier to remember. I hated myself, him, even General Leia Organa for what had become of us. I knew that I shouldn't, but I did with my whole heart. It seemed that my life life thus far had been nothing but broken promises and a war that raged so long and deep into the skies that no being could remain untouched. I hoped that I was wrong and that there was at least one small corner that was peaceful.

I collapsed onto the floor with my back against the door and leaned my head back. My whole body was sore from the toll it had taken in the last few days and I wasn't sure how much more it could take before giving out on me completely. It was no use calling out to my lightsabers. They had no doubt been looked away deep within the recesses of the ship somewhere where my abilities with the force could not reach. Kylo Ren would have made sure of that.

I thought of all the friends I had made working in the resistance, both old and new: Chewie, ever loyal and strong, I never even got to console him in the wake of Han's death. Much like General Leia, I knew he was enduring greater pain than most could imagine. Rey, an incorruptible spirit, brave and kind and strong, everything a jedi should be. Her potential was off the charts and I hope that if, no, when they find Luke, he will train her. Finn, witty, caring, and braver than he believes, willing to go to the ends of the galaxy for his friends. BB-8, ever lovable and Poe…

Thinking of Poe brought a pain to my chest that no amount of time or medicine could fix. Poe would never forgive me for what I had done. In fact, I'm not sure I would ever be able to forgive myself. He had no way of knowing where to find me and in the same way, he was lost to me. A string of miracles and lucky breaks had led me to him but now...I should be so lucky to leave here in death. Kylo Ren haunted us for years as a shadow and now here I was, caught in the darkest of night without Poe, my light to guide the way.

I had officially lost everything and there was no conceivable way I could get any of it back. I was trapped and so alone and so incredibly tired. I attempted to wrestle my arms into a more comfortable position but with the cold metal cuffs around my wrists as tight as they were, there was nothing I could do. Exhaling a slow, shaky breath, I hazily recalled to mind a passage from an old relic lost long ago on my home planet, when I was a girl.

"These woods are lovely, dark and deep,"

Tears slid down my cheeks and my vision blurred.

"But I have promises to keep,"

I choked back a sob and settled into the corner behind the door.

"And miles to go before I sleep,"

Closing my eyes I relinquished myself to utter darkness, finally giving in to the exhaustion that plagued me.

"And miles to go before I sleep."

* * *

 **Author's note: Hello everyone! I'm just going to come out and say that I wasn't really into Star Wars until The Force Awakens came out. I fell in LOVE. I wanted to make this story as canonically accurate as possible so I've literally done hours of supplemental reading and research for this. If any of you are experts and you see something wrong please let me know. I've been using Wookieepedia as my main source of information. This first chapter is a little shorter because it's just a prologue really but I also wanted to use it as an exercise of character- especially since Asha is the only one featured. This and the next chapter give you an idea of who she is and what motivates her actions. This story will follow the movie pretty closely and I'm looking forward to reading the novelization of the movie to get a clearer idea of things since there's more detail and it covers a few plot holes the film had. I hope you enjoyed and please leave a review! Until next time!**


	2. Warm Sandy Deserts?

-Ghost-

Warm Sandy...Deserts?

* * *

 _Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen from the ashes of the Empire and will not rest until Skywalker, the last Jedi, has been destroyed._

 _With the support of the REPUBLIC, General Leia Organa leads a brave RESISTANCE. She is desperate to find her brother Luke and gain his help in restoring peace and justice to the galaxy._

 _Leia has sent her most daring pilot and her second in command on a secret mission to Jakku, where an old ally has discovered a clue to Luke's whereabouts…_

"C'mon Poe...we don't have all day," I murmured, hiding in the shadows of the hut that Poe crouched inside of speaking in hushed whispers to Lor San Tekka. I ghosted my hands over the hilts of my twin lightsabers for the third time in nearly 10 minutes. Even though I wasn't a fully-fledged jedi, I had become fairly proficient in Jar'Kai style of fighting. It allowed me to be much more agile while not sacrificing power.

I was on edge but couldn't place why. Not to sound cliche or anything, but there truly was a disturbance in the Force tonight and I couldn't figure out the source. My abilities with the Force were severely limited because I had no true master to teach me the ways of it in the absence of Luke Skywalker. I could sense things and do basic feats of strength using the force but being able to harness the power of foresight and jedi mind tricks were all but lost to me.

I've never heard of a droid being force-sensitive but BB-8 seemed to be anxious too. "You feel it too, don't you BB-8?" The orange and white droid turned to look at me, frantically beeping. "Something on your scanners?" BB-8 replied in his signature droid speak that few could understand and tonight I was grateful that I was one of those few. "Go check it out." BB-8 quickly rolled away, past the other huts and tents scattered throughout the small village settlement.

Poe couldn't ever truly grasp the force but he constantly made me at least try to explain the sensation of it and what it felt like to be force-sensitive. He didn't exactly trust it though since it was far from an exact science. It was the same reason why he always made me carry a blaster alongside my lightsabers. "There's no way those things are more efficient or safe than a blaster," he insisted.

The truth was that I trusted my lightsabers more than any other weapon you could show me but Poe could never understand that. I shifted my stance to a more defensive one and kept my guard up, vigilant still. Poe and I had come to the desert planet of Jakku to meet with Lor San Tekka and retrieve a map to Luke Skywalker. We had already been here a few days as it took quite a bit a bit of time track the old man down in the small village settlement of Tuanul.

Many people believed he had disappeared much in the same way Skywalker had. Jakku itself, wasn't much to see so I wanted to be gone as soon as possible. The people here were friendly enough, but some of the scavengers clearly thought we had overstayed our welcome. They would do anything for money on this god-forsaken planet so it was only a matter of time before someone realized that the First Order would have a nice bounty on our heads- dead or alive. Poe on the other hand saw it like a mini vacation. I smiled to myself recalling what he said just two days earlier as we trudged through miles of sand dunes.

* * *

"A desert oasis to enjoy! Just me and you! Warm sandy beaches…"

"Yeah, without the water. You know, I don't think you can even _have_ a beach without water. If you don't have water, it's just called a desert." BB-8 chimed in with a series of beeps, reminding me that he was even here on the mission with us.

"You're right BB-8, it is better than being on Mustafar."

"Aw, don't be like that Asha." Poe's shoulders sunk dramatically as he reached for a canteen of water. He took a large swig and cleared his throat. "You know…" I turned to him afraid of where his train of thought was leading him now. "I heard Luke Skywalker lived on Tatooine." I sighed knowing what was coming next. "Did he ever tell you about it?" Poe seemed genuinely eager to know more about my time with the legendary jedi. I looked away from him squinting at the vast expanse of sand ahead of us and let the sound of the sand blowing and our own footsteps fill the void that his unanswered question left.

"No." Poe was relentless when it came to information about my time as a failed Jedi. Although, to be honest I couldn't even say Jedi. I was still a padawan when the...massacre happened. I swallowed the lump in my throat that rose at the thought of it and the thought of _him_. In truth, I had heard a few stories from Master Luke but I wasn't ready to share anything from that time just quite yet- even with Poe whom I trusted my life with. I felt something warm encircle my hand and was yanked back to a halt.

"Hey. It's me you're with. No need to put the shields up so high." Poe regarded me with warm eyes but the reminder was clear. I could trust him, more than with my body, but with my mind and the secrets it held too. I smiled sadly and squeezed his hand back in a silent apology hoping my intentions were clear. I looked to the horizon and finally found my voice again.

"How many vacation days do members of the resistance get anyway?" Poe laughed heartily and matched my stride, walking side by side with me still grasping my hand.

"Not sure but I think we're both long overdue. Think you can talk General Organa into giving us a few days off after this mission?" His eyes were alight at the idea of me asking Leia for a few days of reprieve.

"I'll see what I can do," I said smirking. He knew as well as anyone else how close Leia and I actually were. She was like a second mother to me, especially after returning from training with Luke. At first we had been brought together in a life or death situation but it quickly developed into something much more. Leia had become my confidant over the years, and I hers. "But let's finish this first."

"Right. But where do you wanna go? I mean, honestly. If we can fly there I can take us." I looked at him and smiled coyly bringing a finger to my lips while pretending to be in deep thought.

"Hmm...I would say…"

"Yeah…?"

"Anywhere without sand. I've had enough of it and we've only been on this planet for a few hours," I replied wiping my brow. Poe chuckled rubbing the back of his neck as perspiration dripped from the side of his forehead.

"Yeah, I guess I can't blame you." We walked on in silence for a few more minutes before I looked over at him discreetly and smiled. I don't know what I did to deserve Poe but I was glad he was here, right by my side.

* * *

I snapped out of my reverie as BB-8 came rolling past me in a panic. I looked up to see ships descending to land in the village. Crap! How could I not sense this?

"Right behind you BB-8!" I ran as quickly as I could into the hut and exclaimed at the same time as Poe: "We've got company!"

* * *

 **Author's note: Oh man! My phone has been blowing up with notifications for this story! Thank you so much for reading/favoriting/following/reviewing! It really keeps me going knowing that someone out there likes it. I am currently reading the novelization of the film so a lot of my story will incorporate dialogue from there since I haven't found any transcripts from the film-plus the novel has a lot more detail anyway. I hope you enjoyed and please leave a review! Until next time!**


	3. Anger

-Ghost-

Anger

* * *

Poe ran past me to see what the commotion was all about outside. He pulled out his quadnocs, letting the integrated automatic tracker focus on the four ships landing ahead. He lowered them while still looking ahead at the horizon. He was deadly silent for a moment.

"Not to be presumptuous, sir, but you need to hide."

Lor San Tekka glanced and BB-8 and I before deadpanning, "Not to overstate the obvious, but _you three_ need to leave."

"Sir, if you don't mind, I—"

The older man cut him off. "But I do mind, Poe Dameron. You spoke of your mission." Both his gaze and his tone hardened looking at Poe, I, and BB-8. "Now fulfill it. Compared to what is stirring in the galaxy, you and I are little more than motes of dust."

"With all due respect, some motes are of more importance than others…sir," I countered. He held my gaze evenly before smiling cryptically. I shrank back instinctively nearly forgetting that he was far more capable in his abilities with the force than me.

"That may be true but I need to stay here and help defend the village." He took off abruptly leaving us quite literally in the dust. Poe seemed hesitant to leave the villagers and the admittedly gifted older man to defend himself but he was right; we have a mission to complete. We took off towards the edge of the village where Poe's X-wing was hidden.

With the sophisticated search gear the First Order vessels had, we all knew we needed to get out of the atmosphere quick. The sounds of blasters being fired deafened the sound of my heartbeat rattling inside my chest. Poe and I instinctively began to run with our heads down although I was fairly certain we hadn't been detected by the stormtroopers yet. BB-8 also began evasive maneuvers by zigzagging between our feet as we ran.

Uncovering the X-wing, Poe and I jumped into the cockpit while BB-8 rolled into position as the copilot. Poe hurriedly activated the controls and I sat back in awe as the dashboard lit up. Slowly we rolled out of our hiding place and saw for the first time what was going on in the village. A few of the villagers had taken up arms but their defenses were no match against four elite squadrons of Imperial stormtroopers.

I gripped the back of Poe's seat as we witnessed the chaos unfold before us. It wasn't a slaughter but they were outgunned and many were surrendering. Poe's shoulders tensed up and instinctively I gripped them and in a comforting gesture began to rub them up and down. He visibly relaxed and I removed my hands. The quiet inside the cockpit was interrupted by a stream of electronic anxiety from the droid.

"We're going, BB-8, we're going! Almost there…" Poe hit a few more buttons when suddenly the entire ship began to rock violently after a loud blast. I held my hand to the glass and looked behind us frantically.

"Hang on BB-8!" I yelled. Two stormtroopers had come upon us unseen but their approach put them right in front of the X-wing's weapons. Poe maneuvered the gun from the belly of his X-wing, and then fired, taking care of the two foes clad in white. Putting his attention back on the task at hand, Poe attempted to get us rolling again but a whine and grinding shudder rose from the rear of the ship.

Strapped into the pilot's seat, Poe flinched in response to the unexpected vibration. There shouldn't be any shuddering. The X-wing stopped, but the rising whine did not. After quickly shutting the engines, Poe popped the canopy so we could climb out. Moving to the back of the ship, he stared hard at the engines. The two stormtroopers had been good shots because the damage to the engines was severe.

"Maybe we can scavenge for parts?' I suggested, trying not to panic. Poe remained quiet surveying the area.

"We don't have time."

"Well we have to do something! We're just sitting ducks here." Poe suddenly snapped to attention seemingly just realizing something. He dug into his pocket retrieving the small leather pouch containing the map we were after. "What are you-"

"C'mere BB-8!" BB-8 immediately came forward and sat patiently as Poe inserted the map into him. "Get as far away from here as you can," he ordered his mechanical companion. "Any direction, so long as it's away from this place." He then looked from BB-8 to me. "Both of you." BB-8 was clearly hesitant to comply with the command, as was I. Poe looked back to the glow of the burning village and I began to shake my head catching on to his plan.

"You can't be serious Poe. They'll kill you on sight!" BB-8 jumped in and added his two cents worth with a series of anxious beeps.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take out as many of those bucketheads as I can. BB-8, I'll come back for you guys. Go! Don't worry—it'll be alright. Wherever you end up, I'll find you. And take care of her he smiled pointing at me." BB-8 continued to hesitate.

"Poe, please think this through." My eyes began to water, betraying the facade of fearlessness that had been up all night.

"I am thinking this through Asha. I've run through the scenario a hundred times and this is the only way that map gets to the Resistance. My stomach began to twist into knots as I held quite literally, the secret I had been keeping from Poe for nearly four months. The only ones who knew of its existence were Leia, BB-8, and Lor San Tekka. Leia had very nearly barred me from accompanying him on this mission but I had assured her I would tell him as soon as we had the map. Now everything was going to hell and I could very possibly lose the father of my child before I even told him of its existence.

"Poe I have-" We were interrupted abruptly by two more stormtroopers coming around the bend with their blasters firing. BB-8 and I dove behind a rocky alcove while Poe hid between two large mounds of sand giving him a nice vantage point to take them out with his own blaster.

"Get going! If I'm not back by dawn then get that to the General!"

"Poe, we're not leaving this system without you!"

"Go!" BB-8 and I hesitated before quickly turning to run in the opposite direction of Poe. As soon as we made it over another dune of sand I stopped and turned to BB-8.

"I can't leave him. You go on without us and finish the mission. We'll find you ok?" BB-8's head drooped down and a low beep sounded almost the same as a whine. "Have some confidence BB-8! This is Poe and I we're talking about. I smiled sadly at the droid and turned to face the orange glow of the village. "Something's not right…" I squinted at the dark night sky and my stomach dropped at the sight of a large imposing black shuttle with enormous folding wings that were similar to those of a pterodactyl in silhouette.

I took off towards the village again praying that Poe was alright. "Not good! Not good! Not good!" I could hear the sounds of blasters firing still as I reached the outskirts of the village again. I dove behind the corner of a building, and the sound of movement caused me to raise my blaster reflexively. No need to use my lightsabers and draw undue attention to myself as a Jedi. I sharply rounded the corner and found myself confronting a stormtrooper with a blood-streaked helmet who inhaled sharply and froze. For an instant we remained like that: predator and prey, each fully cognizant of our respective status. When he finally lowered his blaster's muzzle, I couldn't believe it; I continued to stare at him for a long moment.

"Why-?" I was interrupted by the sound of the large black shuttle opening as a long walkway emerged. The stormtrooper immediately stood at attention and ran back towards his troops but abruptly stopped and turned back to me.

"Stay here." I was taken aback at his earnest effort to protect me but didn't bother to heed his warning. I ran ahead searching for Poe while ducking into the shadows but when I looked back at the center of the village and my blood turned cold. A solitary figure clad in all black from head to toe emerged alone. I could only see his profile but I didn't need to see more know exactly who he was. A million emotions ran through me at once but only one lingered long enough to be identifiable: anger.

* * *

 **Author's note: Hey everyone! Yay for Asha meeting FN-2187! I'm really excited to finally add him to the story and he has a much larger role in the next chapter. As for Asha being pregnant...yeah. That happened. haha I do know it's fate and I can't really see that changing but alas, all good things in due time. ;) Sorry this took so long to get out. The next one will definitely be out quicker. I hope you enjoy! p.s. Have you guys seen the SNL parody of Undercover Boss with Kylo Ren? It's my favorite thing on the internet right now. p.s.s. Please review if you get the chance!**


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